Review By Kamal K

In an instant the biggest issue with Breeders becomes apparent. It has some of the worst acting ever. Not in a 'so good it's bad' kind of way, it's just bad. Dialogue delivered as if most have only just learned how to speak, a total lack of emotion, no facial expressions...it's near unwatchable with Teresa Farley being the worst culprit.

Then you have the effects. The monster is extremely disappointing, it looks like a man in a suit and doesn't excite or intrigue.

After directing one of the most acting bereft movies of the 1980's, Robot Holocaust, gay porn director Tim Kincaid must have thought that all he needed to do was add more boobs in his next foray into mainstream film-making resulting in this straight to video T&A abomination.

Breeders begins with the rape of one of the sluttiest virgins I have ever seen by a "German" man who transforms into a bug-eyed alien. It goes downhill from here. At this point the rape victim is subjected to the worst bedside manner ever as Det. Dale Andriotti (Lance Lewman) and Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) discuss her mutilation in all it's gory details about one foot from where she is recovering. Nice. Sadly, these two numbnuts are the main characters of this film. Dr. Pace tells Det. Andriotti, who would be more convincing cast as a paperboy, that a series of these rapes targeting virgins in New York City have become too numerous to be a coincidence. They begin to investigate the rapes together as Det. Andriotti seems to be the only police officer in the greater Manhattan area. These scenes are interspersed between supposed women of sexual purity in various forms of undress. These "virgins" engage in snorting cocaine, nude aerobics, nude cooking, and the sexually arresting nude phone conversation with their mother. Whatever the opposite of a hard-on is I've got it. Eventually all of the victims are summoned in the nude to an underground bath in, well, use your imagination. Thankfully Dr. Pace and Det. Andriotti battle the alien in an abandoned subway that is stocked full of supplies for dispatching the fiend. Perhaps they were really resourceful rats.

Everything about this movie screams amateur hour. To say that the performances are community college level would be an insult to those actors who couldn't afford money for a good school. Teresa Farley is particularly awful as she delivers her lines in the same monotone way while glancing offscreen, presumably to look at the cue cards. I have no problem with copious amounts of nudity but some of the women are more of the Bloodsucking Freaks nude for the sake of being nude variety. Little surprise from someone who's directing history consists of male locker rooms and public toilets. An eye for female beauty Mr. Kincaid has not. This movie was made for those that wanted to see naked women but didn't want to get caught coming out of that back room of the video store by one of his neighbors. "Oh, hi Mrs. Smith. What did I rent? Oh, it's just a sci-fi monster movie. See the scary alien on the box." Keep lying to yourself pervert!

Empire and Wizard Video released this one. Star Ed French also does the special effects (talented guy). The three 'herione' virgins look too 'well-trodden' to be believable as naive nubiles. They are so shy and sweet yet wear no underwear and often sun-bathe in tiny bikinis (hence very very small area tan marks). After clothes removal which does not take long and happens very often a man usually turns up ready for some action (no fumbling for protection, oh no, just do it quick, the world might end!). However just as things get really hot a stupid slimy mutant baby thing shows up and though masculine it is just too young to join in. So what does it do? Well you would think it would use its powers to transform into a man (maybe not a slimy one though) but no simply killing the most horny guy on earth gives this little tyke its kicks. The silly ending really does not matter. Spcial mention to the script though, classic bits including "I know priests who are rapists"; "It's not like you're after my body" (randomly naked lead female character who is working out at the gym randomly naked and her reaction to horny guy walking in on her in her compromising nakedness); "Ted is gay..." (female character to police officer) "Maybe or maybe not, just real clever" (Police officer)...Ummm, classy stuff!