A Spoiler-free Review

Imagine a world where the forest is full of those guys who actually consume the supplements their favorite disgraced political commentator sells them to pay off their court bills.

If you've ever found yourself wondering "how long can a guy fail to act concerned inside a tent while another guy fails to sound menacing outside a tent?" Well, let me tell you, this movie has your answer: it's 10 minutes! 10 actual, consecutive minutes of just... that. A bland guy in a tent listening to a guy make noises outside the tent. 10 minutes. That's not hyperbole or exaggeration, it's almost exactly 600 unbroken seconds of a guy in a tent listening to a guy outside the tent.

If reading that paragraph was exhausting and repetitive, just imagine watching the scene it describes.

I can't recommend you actually spend your time watching this one.

-Josh from Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast.

I love the premise of some woodmen living feral humans living in the mountains this was I thought mostly a comedy. If they had a 10k budget I have no clue where that went because this could be done for about a dollar fity on an iphone. The acting was atrocious and this first time you hear the girl say Umm, if will be stuck in your head for the duration of the movie.

The "woodmen" look like regular people wearing jeans and t-shirts making weird noises and there is actually no actually scare factor to any of it, Umm unless you keep hearing Ummm from the girl. Give this a watch for one reason only, get with a bunch of friends! Watch it! And every time the girl says Umm! DRINK! You will thank me and be passed out before the 30 minute mark.

Please round these people up, set fire to their houses, shoot their dogs and tell them in no uncertain terms that if they ever make another film then things are going to get worse. I've never had my face caught in a bear trap before but I'm pretty sure watching this ulcer of a movie is how it feels. Basically some cardboard cutouts get attacked by a few Geezers without shoes 20 ft from some picnic tables, , and that's it, sorry for ruining the plot. I'm a big fan of low budget horror films because it usually pushes everyone involved to be creative and imaginative but all this mob seem to have done, {no offence to any real mobs}, is rounded up a few relatives with beards and taken off their shoes, that's the Woodmen. Bigfoot and Dogmen are mentioned to casually try and keep your interest but all you get are Geezers with beards and no shoes.